


I Can't Handle The Fear Alone Anymore

by Lady_Lightning



Series: Fear Can't Stop My Love For You [1]
Category: Green Lantern - All Media Types, The Flash (TV 2014), The Flash - All Media Types
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-10
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2019-03-29 08:50:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13923624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Lightning/pseuds/Lady_Lightning
Summary: Barry is stubborn, and it only gets worse when he's tired. But when he's sick? Let's just say its not easy. But when Joe calls Hal for help, Hal learns some new things about Barry...What will happen when Hal sees the broken side to his speedster boyfriend? How will he help Barry?How will Hal see his boyfriend after his shocking two day recovery from a simple cold?





	1. The Speedster Is Sick...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hal gets called to Central City for an unusual reason... a sick speedster?!?

Barry zoomed into his apartment, completely exhausted. He leaned against the door, nearly sliding down to sit on the floor. As he wobbled his way up the stairs to the bedroom in the loft, he held tight to the railing, suddenly feeling dizzy. 

Stumbling into his bedroom, he tried to make it to his bed to lay down, but he ended up on the floor, a few inches from the end of the bed. Giving up completely, he just laid there, on his stomach, groaning from pain and exhaustion. There, he fell into a light sleep, his body cold, and shivering while his head burned with his fever.

When he woke up he felt even worse than before, neck now in pain from passing out on the floor, head pounding, eyes hurting and stomach twisting in ways he didn’t know was possible. The amount of pain he felt, and how sick he was, it brought tears to his eyes. He didn’t know how he ended up so sick, he could normally handle his nightmares, but the ones he’d been having all week were more terrifying than ever. Red lightning, and the screams of his mom, all of it made him lose his appetite and all his hope for sleep. Rolling off his stomach took more energy than he thought, leaving him only able to lay on his back, deep, uneven breaths filling his ears, and small sniffles filling the room.

\---

A few missed calls was enough for Joe to know something was wrong with Barry.

He picked up his phone, worriedly. When Joe had seen him earlier that day, Barry was obviously out of it, and clearly exhausted.

Putting the phone up to his ear, it rang a couple of times and two voices rang through. “Hey Joe!” Cisco said brightly, clearly in a good mood.

“Cisco, tell me you have some sort of cold medicine that can withstand Barry’s metabolism?” Joe asked pensively. Joe knew Barry by now, when he was sluggish, which was hard to tell now because of his super speed, and when he was really stubborn, it was because he was sick, and Joe knew he wouldn’t tell anyone, so he had to learn the signs.

“Um, Barry’s metabolism would burn through cold medicine in an instant Joe, why do you need medicine that strong?” Caitlin asked, butting in before Cisco could say anything. 

“Barry’s sick, he’s acting just like he did as a child. He’s more stubborn and sluggish, and he’s completely exhausted. Can you guy’s make up something that’d work on him? I’m going to call Hal and get him in central, he’s going to be the only one Barry listens to.” Joe said, rolling his eyes a bit.

“We’ll figure something out, and call you when it’s ready.” Cisco said. “Caitlin already ran off to the lab, so something should be ready soon I can imagine.”

“Good, I’ll call Hal, and send him straight to Barry’s apartment, hopefully he made it home okay.” Joe said, then after a short goodbye, he hung up, mumbling to himself, “Barry, you can never make this easy can you? Damn night terrors...”

IN COAST CITY

Hal was having a pretty good day, Coastal was sunny and he was just floating around in his uniform, waiting for something to happen. It was a slow day, no crimes to stop, except the mugging he had stopped early that morning.

He was deep in thought, excited to be seeing his boyfriend in a week when his phone started to ring. Answering the call with his comm links, he greeted the one on the other end of the line.

“Hello?” 

“Hal? It’s Joe.”

Immediately , Hal’s stomach started to churn. He knew that Joe would only call for an emergency, after all that’s why he had his number in the first place.

“Joe? What’s wrong?” Hal said already flying in the direction of Central, worry clear in his voice.

“Well… Barry is sick.” Joe said nervously.

Hal stopped flying, head totally confused. “Okay? Joe it’s normal for people to get sick, why’d you call me? I mean I hope he feels better of course, but is there something else you need?” Hal asked, confused and agitated over being worried sick to find out something so simple.

“Hal, you need to come to Central. Barry needs you.” Joe told him, somewhat aggressively. “Barry hasn’t been sick once since he got his powers, so we have no clue how it will affect his body, we have no medicine that he can take, and he gets unbelievably more stubborn when he’s sick. And now we have to add him being completely exhausted to the mix. It looks like he hasn’t slept for a week.”

Hal scoffed at that, he didn’t think Barry could get any more stubborn, and then he processed what Joe had said completely. “Joe, what do you mean he hasn’t slept in a week??” Aggravation clear in his voice.

“Barry’s never told you about his night terrors, has he? I didn’t think he would because he wouldn’t want you to worry.” Joe said. “Right now he needs you.” 

“I’m on my way.” He said before hanging up. 

Hal was livid. He knew Barry didn’t tell him everything, hell, not even Hal told him everything. But this was different than little secrets, but what was more worrying is how Hal had never connected the dots. 

Barry had never let Hal spend the night in his apartment, he always looked unbelievably tired even though he seemed to have endless energy and the night that his mom died had always haunted him, it was obvious that he’d have some sort of PTSD, like night terrors.

Flying onwards to Central City once more, Hal pondered over everything that had come to light, he’d get an explanation from Barry no matter what the speedster wanted, but mostly he wondered how Barry was doing. He would be in central to help in a matter of minutes, the most important thing was getting the speedster back into optimal health, then he’d ask for an explanation.


	2. Worried Looks And Medicine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hal is worried for his boyfriend, but didn't know it was this bad. Worried looks at a undoubtedly sick speedster has Hal going for the S.T.A.R Labs medicine...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this is a bit shorter of a chapter but I hope you enjoy it!

Hal flew into Central City limits, and headed straight for S.T.A.R. Labs. Minutes later he walked into the cortex. 

“Cisco? Cait?”

“Hal? Is that you?” Caitlin asked walking into the cortex from the lab, Cisco following right behind. 

“Hey Cait. Joe said you guys were working on some medicine for Barry?”

“Yeah, we just finished. Speedster cold medicine is harder to make than you think. We needed something about 10 times stronger than regular cold medicine.” Caitlin said, holding out a small brown bottle. “Now he only needs a tablespoon, like any adult taking regular medicine would.”

“Thanks,Cait.” He said, giving her a firm nod and taking off for the loft. 

Hal flew towards the living room window of the loft, opening it to let himself inside. He glanced around the room while he powered his suit and ring down, and closing the window, a creaking noise coming from it. 

Walking towards the stairs and starting to climb them, Hal called out, “Barry? Barry you there?”

His worry for the speedster increasing, he quickened his pace towards Barry’s bedroom. When he walked through the door, he saw Barry laying on his back on the floor near his bed. He instantly felt a whirlwind of emotion, worry, of course but he also hadn’t ever seen Barry so cute, cheeks flushed pink with fever. 

“Barry! You can’t sleep on the floor!” Hal said, rushing to his side. He reached toward him but stopped, shocked to be able to feel the heat radiating off Barry. Hal grabbed his arm, tugging him to an upright position. 

“Barr’. Come on, I need you to get up.” Hal said, which didn’t get him much of anywhere, only a groan in response, and his eyes fluttering open, but closing again before Barry could see who exactly was talking to him. 

Barry always ran warm, his accelerated heart rate causing his heart to pump blood faster through his veins, the increased circulation causing his natural body temperature to rise up past 98.6. But when Hal actually felt his skin, it burned hotter than ever, fever even clearer, now that he was close enough to see the sweat on Barry’s brow. 

Heaving Barry into a bridal-style carry, he carried him the rest of the way to the bed and laid him down. He went to the dresser, pulled out a pair of Barry’s pajamas and the pair of his pajamas he’d hid there a while back. 

“Barry? I need you to help me get you into some pajamas.” Hal said, hoping to rouse him. Fortunately Barry’s eyes cracked open and he let out a groan. 

After getting him into fresh clothes, which seemed to take forever, Hal changed into his own. He looked around, scanning the room for the bottle of medicine he’d somehow lost. Seeing it on the bedside table, and wondering how it got there, he grabbed it and turned to Barry. Sitting Barry up enough, Hal opened the bottle and poured out some of the liquid into the measuring cap. 

He lifted it to Barry’s lips in just enough time for him to turn his face away, “Mm-mm.” he groaned. 

Of course Barry was going to difficult about the medicine. Hal sighed as he lowered the cap a little, “Barry come on. Cait and Cisco made it so it could help you.” he said gently. But Barry’s face stayed turned away.

Oh hell no. This is not how things were going to go today. His day has already been turned upside down, no way was it getting worse. Hal reached up and took Barry’s face gently with his free hand, turning his face, and bringing the medicine cap to his lips. “Barry open your mouth before I open it for you.” Hal said with a bit of force, causing Barry’s eyes to open in shock, tears forming slightly.

Hal could feel his heart break to think that Barry was hurting so much it brought tears to his eyes, but he did as he was told and opened his mouth, allowing Hal to pour the medicine inside. Barry shuddered at the taste, obviously it wasn’t pleasant, but it’d help the fever.

Hal helped Barry lay back down, and covered him with the blankets. He watched as Barry lazily rolled over onto his stomach, arm falling off the side of the bed, and face smushed against the pillow. Now that Barry’s first round of meds was dealt with, Hal headed towards the door and back down the stairs. Hal was going to wait for Barry to wake up in a couple of hours to get him fed and give him another dose of that medicine, but for now he was going to settle for watching some TV. 

However Barry had another idea.

He’d woken up screaming not even a half hour later, scaring the shit out of Hal. When Hal had gotten into the room Barry was sitting upright, his arms around himself and rocking slightly in attempt to calm himself. 

Thanks to Joe, Hal knew exactly what this was, Barry’s night terrors. He walked his way over to Barry’s side and gently put a hand on his shoulder. He was careful not to go too fast so Barry wouldn’t get defensive in his terrored confusion. 

When he was sure Barry knew it was him, he sat on the edge of the bed, and looked Barry in the face only to see it wet with tears, no signs of stopping, red and puffy eyes and he heard stifled sobs. Then, he pulled Barry into a hug, rubbing his back soothingly.

After a minute, Barry latched onto Hal, showing no signs of letting go soon. He just sat there, crying, sniffling and letting Hal comfort him. 

For a long while, Hal just sat there rubbing his back and noticed how Barry slowly loosened up, but then he went totally limp. Hal slowly pulled away to notice that Barry had fallen asleep again.

“Pfft.” Hal snorted, trying to hold back his laughter. “You’re just too damn cute.” he whispered. Hal went to settle Barry back under the covers but then he stopped himself.

Next thing Hal knew, he was under the covers with Barry snuggled up against him, head resting on his chest. “I swear Barry, you’d better stay asleep until I need to wake you, or I’m going to be really angry with you.” he said sarcastically.


	3. Pulling Through, If Only Slightly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry's first sick day isn't going easy, for him or for Hal. When Barry does things that even Hal didn't expect, how will Hal handle the situation?
> 
> How will Barry's recovery go from there?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I had a busier week than I had originally thought, but here is the next chapter. Please leave comments and feel free to tell me if there are things misspelled or incorrect spacing throughout the chapters!

When Barry woke up, he was snuggled against Hal, who was rubbing his arm and calling his name quietly to rouse him. 

“Mmn. Noooo.” Barry groaned, rolling over to avoid what he knew was coming. But Hal wasn’t giving up that easily. 

“You’re lucky I have to get you to eat something before the second dosage Barr’.” Hal said, slightly exasperated. Getting up, he headed towards the kitchen on the first floor. Sifting through the refrigerator, Hal found the soup Joe left for Barry. 

After heating the soup up the rest of the way, Hal headed back up to the bedroom, to find Barry’s head hanging off the side of the bed, along with his arm, sleeping lightly. Hal groaned thinking he’d have to wake him up all over again, but boy was he wrong.

As soon as Hal was close enough with the bowl of soup, Barry’s eyes shot open, and his stomach growled. “HA!” Hal laughed. “Well at least you’re hungry.” he said with a smile. Barry sat up slowly almost falling back over, causing Hal to put the bowl on the bedside table to help steady him. 

After he had eaten the soup, Hal once again reached for the medicine bottle. Hopefully Barry would just take the medicine this time without a fight. And once again Hal was dead wrong.

Though Barry hadn’t been doing that much better, his mind was clearer, which made him think that he didn’t want or need the medicine even more.

“Oh my lord!! Barry Allen take the medicine and get it over with!!” Hal said sternly. “You and I both know it’ll make you feel better.” It seemed to Hal that the fever hadn’t gone down in the slightest, because Barry was full out crying, unable to handle his throbbing head, and no doubt anxiety and exhaustion were getting to him as well, frustrating the speedster beyond compare, but Barry was full on fighting Hal, trying to wriggle away from his grasp.

“Oh no you don’t!” Hal said, nearly tackling Barry, pulling him into an upright position and wrapping him in a hug. There, Barry struggled to get away but exhausted himself in a matter of minutes. When Hal pulled back slightly to talk to Barry, all he saw was a petulant speedster with big red eyes, and tears still running down his face. “You know you act like a two year old when you’re sick, right?” Hal said with a chuckle. He couldn’t tell if Barry flushed from embarrassment because his cheeks were already bright red from crying and his fever. “At least it’s entertaining and adorable.”

When Barry opened his mouth to say something, head confused from what Hal had just said, he immediately tasted something bitter and nasty, swallowing it in his confusion. It took a few seconds for it to click that Hal had just gave him the medicine that he had spent so much time refusing to take.

He planned to whine at Hal but the medicine hit him fast, his full stomach and the effects of the medicine, made him really drowsy, really fast. “See? All done with that. And look you’re already falling asleep!” Hal cooed. Barry felt as if Hal was really treating him as a child, but was too tired to do much about it. The most he managed to do was send Hal a petulant look, Hal returning it with a shining smile.

What Barry thought strange is one minute he had been sitting up with Hal in front of him and the next he was laying down, his head on Hal’s chest and drifting once again into a light sleep.

\---

Once Barry had fallen asleep, Hal had slowly started to shift out from underneath him, suddenly uncomfortable. Hal managed to make it down the stairs to stretch when his phone rang.

Seeing it was Joe he answered and held his phone to his ear, “Hello?” he greeted.

“Hal? How’s Barry doing?” Joe asked instantly, obviously concerned. Hal knew that Joe and the others were worried, he immediately regretted not thinking about calling everyone for an update on how Barry was doing. 

“Not so great, but I got him to take his second round of meds, though that stunt wasn’t so easy. You could’ve warned me about how he acts when he’s sick you know. I had no clue he was so petulant…” Hal recalled somewhat lightheartedly.  


Joe honestly felt bad for Barry, he couldn’t handle getting sick as a child, it must’ve been worse as an adult and ten times worse as an adult with superspeed no less. “Well I hope he gets better soon, the Flash needs to be up and running again real soon,” Joe started to say before Hal heard a scream from upstairs once again, a thump and moving feet following.

“Crap! And he just fell asleep too… Joe I’ve got to go, he really needs some sleep.” Hal said apologetically.

“Don’t worry about it Hal, like I said, take care of him, and update me later.” Joe said, then hanging up. Hal turned to head back up the stairs when suddenly he was sitting on the floor, pain from landing lancing up his back slightly. After a couple seconds he had realized that Barry had run into him using his superspeed and was now hiding his wet face in his abdomen, arms wrapped around Hal’s waist while he laid in the awkward position he had landed in.

“Barry?” Hal said, poking at his arm. “Barry come on let’s go back upstairs, you need to sleep.” All Hal got in reply was a couple of sniffles and what he thought felt like Barry nodding his head. 

After struggling to get a half asleep speedster up the stairs they were back in Barry’s bedroom.

Hal honestly wasn’t sure if he could do much more than he’d been doing, making sure Barry took his medicine on time and keeping him fed. Even though Hal tried, he couldn’t seem to get Barry to sleep as he should. 

Hal decided that the best option was to call S.T.A.R. Labs. They’d be able to tell Hal anything he needed to know. Putting the phone up to his ear he waited for Caitlin or Cisco to answer. 

“Hey, Hal.” Caitlin’s voice ringing through his speaker, tone concerned.

“Hey Cait, I need to know a couple things, figured you guys should be able to tell me.” Hal said, waiting for a reply. 

“Shoot.” Caitlin replied, ready to help. 

“Well, how do you guys get Barry to sleep easily? I’m sure he’s had some nights at S.T.A.R. after some fights where he slept there?”

“Well normally when he was injured and stayed stayed here, he’d still wake up screaming. We couldn’t really find a way to help him beyond what you can do. You could try chamomile tea and lavender scents but I doubt they’d actually have any affect on his night terrors. If I were you, I’d just stay with him.” Caitlin assessed. 

“Hmm, alright, well I’ll see what I can do.” Hal replied, secretly disappointed. “Catch ya later Cait.”

“Alight Hal, good luck.” she said calmly, hanging up after.

Hal turned his head to look at Barry over his shoulder, just to see his eyes struggling to stay open. “Barry, come on, at least try to get some sleep. I’ll be right back okay?” Hal could see panic light Barry’s eyes, he obviously didn’t want to be left alone at all, and with that, Hal’s will to leave the room, even for a second was completely gone. He marched right over to the bed and laid down next to Barry once more.

“I’ll do what I needed to do later. It’s getting late anyways, try to get some sleep.” Hal said yawning slightly himself. When Hal was settled, Barry immediately shot over to Hal’s side, getting comfortable as well. Within minutes, Barry was sound asleep, Hal following behind him into a deep sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed reading the story. the next chapter should wrap it up but if not, maybe a chapter five will be necessary. I hope this chapter wasn't too boring or maybe repetitive for you, I had a bit of writers block. I know how I want to end the story but really can't piece together how I want to get there.


	4. To S.T.A.R We Go...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Could a sick speedster at home be dangerous?
> 
> Why are Barry's night terrors so bad? Is there more than one reason for them?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long so i tried to make it as long as possible, but there will be more chapters after that is fact!

When Hal woke, he found it was morning. Blinking sleep from his eyes, he turns his gaze to Barry, only to find him asleep, shockingly enough. Hal was in a position that was easy to get up from, Barry only cuddled up against his side. 

“I really need a shower.” Hal groaned. Sluggishly pulling himself out of bed.

After Hal got out of the shower, rushing through getting dressed, skipping the part of putting on a shirt, he went to check on Barry. His temp was still high, but was way better than it had been, and the color was returning to his face, slowly but surely. 

“I hope you sleep for as long as you need Barry. But I’m getting hungry…” Hal said, thinking out loud. Hal decided to wander down the stairs, in hopes that Barry would stay asleep long enough for Hal to find some food.

Hal was surprised when he got into the kitchen only to find it mostly empty. “You’d think that because a speedster lives here that the place would have an abundance of food…” Hal mumbled. 

Hal went upstairs once more, going straight for his phone and glancing at Barry the whole time. Hal figured if he called Iris or Joe that they might bring over some groceries to Barry’s apartment, and he was right, once he got Iris on the phone and explained, she seemed more than happy to oblige.

Not too long later, Barry still fast asleep, Hal not willing to risk leaving the room again as not to wake him, Iris walked into the apartment with some bags. Setting them down on the counter of the kitchen, Iris made her way up the stairs for Barry’s room.

Once she got into Barry’s room she noticed that Barry was asleep and that Hal was sitting next to him, on the bed, shirtless. “Hal where’s your shirt?” she asked with a slight smile. 

Hal just shrugged his shoulders, with this kind of melancholy expression on his face, eyes staring at Barry while he hugged his knees. He wasn’t sure if he should be worried that Barry was sleeping for as long as he was or relieved. Maybe he was getting worse and couldn’t stay conscious? No, that can’t be right, Barry’s fever is going down and his color was returning… so why is it Hal still felt like something was wrong?

“Hal, Barry’s going be fine.” Iris said reassuringly. She had never seen Green Lantern so openly worried and scared before. “Well I put the food on the counter. There’s cereal and other things for you to eat and I made sure to bring more soup and even some ginger ale for Barry.

Hal forgot that Iris’ whole point to coming was bringing food! “Yeah thanks. I’m starving but couldn’t leave him, so I figured someone wouldn’t mind bringing some stuff. You’d think that Barry would have a lot of food in his apartment, hyper-metabolism and all…” Hal said getting up and walking back downstairs.

Once Iris was alone she walked closer to Barry to get a better look, worried for how he was doing. She peered into his face from the side of the bed, knowing that he was doing better than before, and started to smile. Then all the sudden Barry’s eyes shot open, lightning crackling in every corner of his eyes while tears poured out, his sobs coming out small and distressed.

“Uh-oh.” Iris said. “HAL!” she called, already moving to help Barry. She knew this was night terrors sure but it was way worse than she’d ever seen, because one minute he was there in front of her, and the next, he was running out of control, through his room and then down the stairs. 

“Hal! Barry lost control of his speed!” she yelled already running down the stairs, following the orangey-yellow lightning he left behind. By the time she made it into the living room, it was trashed and Hal was standing in the center with his hand held out in the direction she had come from. Hal’s ring came flying to him, his suit powering up and Hal already in command.

Hal powered up a barrier within seconds, catching Barry and himself in it as Barry blasted around the room. It was taking an enormous amount of power to keep Barry in the shield with him out of control and bouncing in every direction. “Barry! You have to calm down!” Hal said urgently. If this went on for too long, people might know about Barry and Hal, and obviously that’d cause trouble for their crime fighting… 

Hal started shrinking the barrier, Barry still running out of control in any direction. He just hoped that he could get Barry to calm down, if only he could get close enough to him.

“Hal try talking to him and keep pushing him closer.” Iris said, while she rushed around closing all the shades and windows, trying to keep as much concealed as possible.

Hal did exactly that, made the barrier smaller and smaller, but he noticed Barry slowing down on his own. “I think he’s getting tired! Not that he had much energy to run around this much as it is!” Hal said. Barry was slow enough where Hal cold probably grab ahold of him, so he tried to do just that.  
As soon as he tried, he noticed that Barry wasn’t just running but his whole body was vibrating, though not to the point where he was intangible. “Barr’ calm down. It’s okay! I promise!” Hal said desperately, wrapping Barry up in the tightest hug possible, and rubbing his back. The speedster started to lean into the hug, and his molecules started to slow significantly. 

The next thing Hal knew he was sitting on his feet, Barry infront of him on his knees, hugging Hal and sobbing. After a few minutes Barry’s superspeed was completely down, leaving him only shaking when Iris started motioning Hal with her hands.

“I have to go to work,” she mouthed. “You can handle him?” and with that Hal nodded. Barry would be fine again in no time, if Iris had to work, there’s no reason for her not to. 

“Iris I’m taking him to S.T.A.R, there’s no way he can stay here if he can lose control over his speed. People might start to notice and complain.” Hal said quietly. Iris responded with a sharp nod, eyes seeming to say that it was a good idea to move him to the lab.

After Iris left, Hal sat with Barry while he calmed down, a hand around his waist and the other in his hair, rubbing his head slowly. Hal was deep in thought. He wondered, if it was possible, that Barry had more than one reason to have night terrors. After all, the Reverse Flash had been defeated a while ago, though the scars of his childhood still shined through everything he did… but could there be more to the terror filled dreams he was having? As Hal got deeper into thought Barry started to fidget, like he wasn’t sure what to do with himself now that he was calm. 

“Hm? Oh! How ‘bout we get you to S.T.A.R?” Hal said coming back from his racing thoughts suddenly. All Barry could do was nod, going along with Hal’s plans. “Let’s get you into a shower while I pack some stuff to bring, okay?” he said, already getting up to get things done.

They would head for S.T.A.R and everything would be okay, Barry and his secret would be safer this way.

\---


	5. Cute Barry and Serious Talks...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day two of Barry's cold and has a long way to go with his recovery.
> 
> Cait and Hal can't help but be curious... could it be more than the cold they believed?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Next chapter is up! Hope you enjoy and don't forget to comment and subscribe if you want updates from when I post new chapters. I'd appreciate Kudos and Constructive criticism. Let me know about and grammar errors please! :)

Hal had gotten Barry ready for the small trip to S.T.A.R. but just as he finished packing the rest of the bags, all the while keeping his eyes on Barry, he noticed the speedster had fallen asleep on the couch, lying on his stomach, mouth slightly agape, small snores echoing through the living room. Hal let a small sigh out though his nose, not agitated but relieved, a smile forming on his lips at the same time. 

“Barry… you can never make this easy can you?” Hal sighed out, a little happily. “Well I can’t wake you, looks like I’m going to have to carry you, huh?” Hal said quietly running his fingers through his sleeping partner’s hair. The speedster hummed, slightly leaning into the touch. “Tch.” Hal scoffed. “You’re too damned cute.” Hal said, slowly moving to roll Barry onto his back. Hal then slid his arm under the back of Barry’s knees and the other on his back, slightly below his shoulder blades. 

He adjusted and shifted, making sure Barry and himself were comfortable, Barry’s head falling against his chest. The ladder groaned and nuzzled his head against the warmth of Hal’s chest. 

Hal then activated his ring. From street clothes to Green Lantern uniform, it faded into place, starting at his feet and working its way up to his chest and face. When he was ready, he grabbed the duffle he’d packed with supplies and they flew out of the apartment.

AT S.T.A.R LABS

Caitlyn and Cisco were running around setting things up for Hal and Barry in the med bay. They didn’t have a double bed for them to stay on so they pushed two of the med cots together. They set up a place for Hal to put anything he brought for Barry or himself. They finished just as Hal landed in the cortex with Barry. 

“Hal! How’s Barry doing?” she questioned, already walking over to check him out. Hal walked towards Cait and Cisco at the same time. 

“Honestly? I’m really not sure… I think he’s getting better but he can barely keep conscious.” Hal explained. With the explanation Hal provided, Caitlyn went into doctor mode. 

“Bring him into the med bay. I’ll take a closer look at things to make sure it’s nothing other than the cold we thought it was.” she said, placing her hand gently on Barry’s forehead, feeling the warmth of his skin. 

“Alright.” Hal said, feeling slightly anxious, walking into the med bay. He placed Barry on one of the cots that he noticed were pushed together. 

“Thanks for setting all this up. I know it’s got to be a pain.” Hal said somewhat guiltily, a small smile playing at his lips again.

“What concerns me is why you called and told us to set up a place for Barry to stay here. Why can’t he just stay in his apartment? You were doing fine there not long ago weren’t you?” Cisco asked.

“Well…” Hal drew out that one word, like he was stalling to say what needed to be said.

“Hal,” Caitlyn turned from Barry to look directly at him. “You need to tell us everything so we can help Barry the best we can.” she said a little forcefully. This made even Hal duck his head when he saw the fire of determination burning in her eyes.

He kept his eyes on the floor when he whispered what he really didn’t want to have to say. “Barry lost control of his speed after waking up from his night terrors. I was downstairs at the time when I heard Iris yell and then saw Barry speeding around the apartment out of control. He really could have hurt someone, or himself.” Hal finished, eyes still planted on the floor.

“You should’ve told us when we were on the phone.” Cisco said.

“Well we could get some metacuffs to keep him from using his speed.” Caitlyn said.

“Not having his powers could freak him out even more.” Hal said. “It’s his only line of defense against the Reverse Flash and don’t think he doesn’t realize it. Taking his powers away, even if only when he is sick could just send him into panic even more.”

“True.” Caitlyn said. “His dreams are memories from his childhood. It’s very possible that when he wakes up he feels the Reverse Flash’s presence even when it’s not there. Which is why taking his speed would cause that higher level of panic. But Hal, you need to make sure that even if he does lose control of his speed again, that you can contain him.” 

“That won’t be a problem. He doesn’t have energy to be running about for long. Containing him in a shield as I did earlier shouldn’t take much energy on my end.”

Cisco turned and walked out of the med bay, into the cortex to sit at the computers while Cait and Hal finished the conversation and gave Barry a check-up.

After maybe ten minutes, Hal and Cait came into the cortex.

“The cold he has is hitting his body harder than I thought it would.” Cait said, her tone confirming that it was in fact, a simple cold.

“Well at least it’s nothing serious.” Cisco said relieved. “Does anyone want Big Belly Burger? It’s almost lunch time. I was going to get something to eat.” he asked.

“Sure.” Both Hal and Caitlyn replied. 

“Alright, well I already know your favorites so no need to tell me” Cisco laughed, thinking it was quite strange that everyone ate out so much that he’d remember their usual order.

Hal walked further into the cortex and stopped right in front of the mannequin with Barry’s suit on it. He loved the new white faced background in the symbol. It stood out more, just like Barry(not that the red friction proof high-polymer suit didn’t make him stand out as it is). The baby-faced CSI stood out like a sore thumb at any party or even in his workplace, looking too young to even be a CSI on the precinct. 

Cait slowly approached, and put a hand on Hal’s shoulder, knocking him out of his reverie (Where he was imagining his boyfriend speeding around in his suit). “He’s going to be fine Hal, it’s just a little cold…” she said calmly and slowly, to make sure Hal caught every single word.

“Then why is it hitting him so hard?” Hal questioned.

“Barry’s immune system is more advanced now. It would be harder for him to get sick and escalate any of his symptoms if he did get sick. It won’t break him. The Flash is too powerful to be defeated by a simple cold.” She said with a small chuckle.

“He’s really cute when he’s sick you know.” Hal recalled, already remembering everything Barry had done from the time Hal had arrived until the time they decided to go to S.T.A.R. “Such a child though…” he said with a chuckle.

“Really?” Cait asked, a little curious.

“Oh yeah, just wait until you see him when I need to give him his next dose of medication. He absolutely refuses to take it.” Hal laughed a little louder this time.

“Never would have thought… though he is stubborn…” she said, more of thinking out loud than anything. “Though he has a hard time asking for help, I could see why he’d be difficult to accept help when he doesn’t really have a choice in the matter.”

“Mm.” Hal hummed, now turning back towards the med bay. “I’m going to check on him. You never know what’s going to happen with him.” Hal said a little more lightheartedly than he ever should feel in this position.

“Let’s hope he stays passive!” Cait said with a laugh.


	6. Going Home and Feeling Better...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hal and Barry need to talk, and when they go home they do just that... along with cuddling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LAST CHAPTER! Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy the last chapter!

For the next few hours, Barry was in and out of consciousness, night terrors present and medicine taken (though not easily) which made everyone confused and worried.

“You were not kidding when you said he had the mind of a two year-old when he’s sick.” Cait said slightly amused and shocked.

“I think it’s funny-ish.” Cisco stated, sipping from his soda.

“Well it’s got to be new for him to be sick. I know for a fact that he hasn’t gotten sick since he got his powers. Must be a way more intense feeling.” Joe said worriedly.

While the others had a small conversation, glancing at Barry through the window of the cortex, Hal stayed silent. He was worried, but he’d been called out of the med bay multiple times to fill in where Barry was needed as the Flash.

Now though, he was going to just rest next to his boyfriend. He was going to relax and make sure Barry was okay.

When he walked through the door to the med bay, he saw Barry sitting on his bed, just shaking, for reasons he couldn’t tell.

Hal walked straight up to Barry and placed his hand on his forehead, checking his temperature. It was almost back to normal, and Barry seemed to be feeling much better, but still, worrying Hal the most… he just wouldn’t say anything.

“Barry?” Hal said moving his hand down to Barry’s cheek. The only response he got were tears falling down his face and Barry pressing his face gently into his palm.

Hal was done with this. He was done letting Barry suffer, he was done being blind about it, and he was done with secrets. “Barry… we’re going back to the loft. You’ll be able to relax better there… won’t you?” Hal asked questioningly.

Barry just nodded and started to stand, slowly but surely. Hal held onto Barry every step of the way, into the cortex to say goodbyes. 

“Are you sure it’s a good idea to go back home? What if he loses control again?” Joe said.

“I’ll handle it. Besides he’s way better than he was this morning. It shouldn’t happen again… right Barr’?” Hal asked. Barry only nodded, eyes closed, almost falling asleep on his feet.

Hal had looked at Barry when he questioned him, and just knew that he was falling asleep on his feet, and so, rolling his eyes slightly, he powered his ring up and picked Barry up bridal-style. When Hal looked down, Barry had his doe-eyes wide open. “Well, he’s obviously too tired to walk or anything so I’ll fly him home…” Hal said looking back up. With that he took off out of the cortex, towards the apartment.

\---

Time was flying by for Barry, or at least it seemed that way. Hal had helped him stand and walk to the cortex while he zoned in and out of consciousness. He had closed his eyes, not really hearing what everyone was saying.

He had just elected to pretend he knew what was going on, so he nodded as soon as everyone turned their attention to him. His eyes were closed but he could feel everyone’s eyes on him, but he just couldn’t seem to be able to open his own.

He truly had no clue what was going on with his body anymore. He wanted to go home and had all intentions of heading there by pulling his own weight, but he went from feeling heavy to light in a matter of seconds. He finally opened his eyes and it still took him a minute to realize that Hal had picked him up, and from the grip, he could tell there was no way he would be let down any time soon.

THE LOFT

When Hal reached the loft, he opened the window and let himself inside. He marched right upstairs and placed Barry on the bed, letting out an exhausted sigh. Barry seemed to be fast asleep, so Hal decided to lay down right next to him. There he fell asleep for a short time before his stomach woke him up. 

Hal traveled down to the kitchen and dug through the refrigerator, finding nothing he wanted he just grabbed an apple and leaned against the counter. 

When Barry woke up, his head was clearer than it had been in almost two days. He rolled over lazily on the bed, but was slightly surprised that he was alone. He hadn’t woken up peacefully alone since that night when he was 11.

Barry rolled to the edge of the bed and slowly got up, slight dizziness from standing suddenly clouding his thoughts. Then, he made his way down the stairs. While he walked to the kitchen, he looked at his feet, concentrating on not falling flat on his face. When he did glance up, he spotted Hal in the kitchen eating an apple and leaning against the counter. 

Barry immediately felt his face go hot. He could remember almost everything from the past two days now that his head was clear but that didn’t stop him from feeling one thing: embarrassed. 

Hal glanced up as Barry ducked his flushed face in embarrassment, though Hal didn’t seem to grasp that he WAS embarrassed. “Barry? Are you okay? Did your temperature get higher again?” Hal said as he rushed Barry’s way.

“M’fine.” Barry grubled, hiding his face in his hands. Hal saw him hiding his face deliberately so he walked up to him, grabbed Barry’s wrists with both hands and pried them away from his face.

“Barry Allen, look me in the eyes and speak up. I want to hear you tell me you’re okay.” Hal said with some force. Barry once again seemed shocked by the tone Hal was using, he looked up with wide, tear-filled doe-eyes, started shaking, and let out small, distressed sobs.

“Shit! Barry I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…” Hal said, wrapping Barry in a tight hug, tears forming in his own eyes. “Shit, shit shit… I didn’t mean to scare you… I’m just worried about you…” Hal said, voice almost cracking. “Please stop crying! It’s okay! You’re okay!” Hal said urgently, wanting Barry to be okay again.

Barry wasn’t scared, but he just couldn’t seem to control his emotions anymore. Barry was tired. Tired of the night terrors. Tired of being alone throughout his terror. Tired of being the victim of his childhood, even after everything, after his mother and fathers’ deaths, after becoming The Flash, after everything. Barry just wanted Hal to stay with him. 

“P-please d-don’t leave m-me.” Barry stuttered out. He felt Hal’s grip on him loosen, which scared him.

When Hal had heard Barry’s plea, his grip on the speedster had loosened from shock, which sent him straight back to hiding his face, but shaking more violently than before. Hal’s hands slid gently from their place around Barry’s shoulders and up to his face. Hal’s grip was gentle but a little forceful when he moved to make Barry look at him for the first time.

“What in the world ever made you think I would?” Hal asked huskily, kissing away Barry’s tears, making the speedster’s blush go from pink to scarlet in an instant. When Hal looked down, he saw Barry’s eyes refused to meet his. “Barry… Barry look at me…” Hal whispered seductively.

Barry heard Hal whispering to him… he was having a hard time not doing as he was told but he was too embarrassed to look at him. Hal didn’t agree with that at all because he backed Barry against the wall and grabbed his chin with a little force,tipping it up so he was face to face with Hal. 

Barry’s back against the wall, palms pressed against it behind his back, he looked into Hal’s eyes with his scarlet cheeks still blazing. Hal immediately noticed that Barry’s eyes were still wet with tears. He was angry that he had caused Barry to react that way, but Barry still had some explaining to do.

“We have some things to talk about Barry. And no putting it off. Let’s go.” Hal whispered, taking Barry by the hand and leading him to his bedroom. When they got there, both sat down on the bed and Hal looked intently at Barry while he waited for him to explain.

“Look I know I hid something important from you, I do. And I know now that it’s something far too important to hide,” Barry started, head down and shoulders pulled in to make himself as small as possible. “And honestly, I wasn’t going to tell you anytime soon, but I’m glad Joe told you.” Barry was undoubtedly crying again.

“Look, Barry, I can get not telling me right away, hell, even I wouldn’t have said anything right away. But you must know by now that I would help you with any problem…” Hal said slowly, making sure Barry would be able to grasp everything he was saying. “You never had to hide this… in fact I should’ve expected something like this would happen to you. What happened when you were little would scar any child for life, not just you.” Hal finished.

Barry turned and all but vaulted into Hal. He was scared of things that couldn’t hurt him anymore, and he had gotten justice, but the pain was still there, and the fear. “I… I just can’t handle the fear alone anymore…” Barry said, hiding his face into Hal’s shoulder. 

Hal could feel that Barry was still crying (and knew for fact his face was still scarlet) but whispered to him “You won’t have to… you never did.” 

Hal was resolute when he said this to Barry, because Barry could see it in Hal’s eyes, burning emerald green in his usually dark brown eyes. 

In the end Barry could do nothing but nod, small tears of relief streaming down his face as he cuddled up to Hal and went back into a deep sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will now be starting a new story! Subscribe if you want to know when it comes out!
> 
> I will never abandon a story so I will only be writing one at a time to assure any readers never get angry with any cliffhangers! So if you see that there isn't a set amount of chapters, that means the story is ongoing and will be updated ASAP! 
> 
> Thank you for reading "I Can't Handle The Fear Alone Anymore"!!! :) ;)

**Author's Note:**

> Well I really made Barry into a character that needs help. I know how the character doesn't necessarily always ask for help and I wanted to make him a softer character, truly highlighting what problems he could've had as a child and even through his adulthood.


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